The straight-shooter vs the salad shooter.

Maybe I have heard of a salad shooter. I'm not sure. I've heard of salad. I've heard the word shooter. I know what a straight shooter is. So what is a salad shooter?

Earlier today I discovered that train of thought in my subconscious. I know not from where it cometh, but I know wherefore it came.

I was reading an article in The Onion, entitled Chinese Factory Worker Can't Believe The Shit He Makes For Americans, which I quote herein:

"Often, when we're assigned a new order for, say, 'salad shooters,' I will say to myself, 'There's no way that anyone will ever buy these,'" Chen said during his lunch break in an open-air courtyard. "One month later, we will receive an order for the same product, but three times the quantity. How can anyone have a need for such useless shit?"

Immediately, I had to know what a salad shooter was. Well, I found a picture.  This is a picture of a piece of plastic with radish slices falling out of it. There is a cord extending off to one side: this baby is electric. I can imagine that this device would be incredibly useful to the following groups:

1) Vegetarians with no hands so they can't slice a radish.

2) Vegetarians who are blind so they can't slice a radish.

I want to race. I bet I can grab my chef's knife and slice a radish before you can even get that thing down off the shelf. True, you are less likely to get hurt using the shooter, but if you can't eat vegetables without maiming yourself you need to listen closely.  Listen very closely.  There is a sound from somewhere behind you.  That quiet creeping sound behind you is natural selection, and its coming for you.  You totally have the skills to make food without getting hurt, you know that, you don't need me to tell you that.  So why would you ever want one of those things?

There is something addictive about gadgets in the kitchen though.  I like to buy sharp knives and nice measuring cups, and spectacular cookware.  So I can see where if your idea of a gourmet meal was a sliced radish, then one of these things would be a dream come true.  You could tell ALL of your friends, "I eat sliced radish whenever I want now.  Anytime of the day that there is electricity available, I can have a sliced radish. Power goes out, well, I just got a suffer.  No way to get a sliced radish with the power out. But thanks to modern convenience, I have electricity all the time.  One demand, baby.  We have electricity on demand, and as a result we have the luxury of a sliced radish whenever we want one."