Crank. It. Out.

The phone rang. I was asleep. The phone rang again. I woke up. It was Elyse, "Hey, I'm walking home from Yoga class, what should I pick up for dinner?" It was 6:15pm. I had no idea how long I'd been asleep. Was I cooking tonight? I couldn't remember. Was it Tuesday? Thursday? Yesterday? I asked Elyse to pick up a chicken, an onion, and a lime. And some greens for a side salad.

In a fresh sleep-coma I stumbled out into the living room where I picked up the latest copy of Food & Wine. The recipe that I had half-remembered was for steak, not chicken. Well, a chicken and an onion will make a nice meal. The lime can waste away in the fridge until we finally throw it out. Supports the lime growers. Kids in Africa can't survive on limes anyway.

One thing that I have never mentioned in the food blog is that if I nap 20-25 minutes I feel great. Cat Nap City. Refreshed. Mentally engorged. Any longer, and I am out for the night, nothing can wake me up. Not even an entire pot of coffee. By this time I had figured out that I must have been out for about 60-70 minutes. I got home from work at ~5, and laid down for a 20 minute nap. 99 times out of 100 I wake up in 20 minutes. But not today. I was out for the count. Slovenlyville. Dull. Mentally retarded.

Elyse arrived. I took one look at the chicken and realized that I wasn't very hungry, and the sautéed chicken with white wine and piquillo peppers that I had wanted to make wasn't going to be worth the effort. It wasn't just lack of hunger, I didn't have my faculties about me enough to prepare a meal like that. I was still determined, however, to cook. I have no idea why. Was it have been the a coma? When there?

I informed Elyse that the chicken will be for tomorrow and that we were having leftovers night. She whined a little. Spontaneously. Quietly. I like the whining because if the expectations are low, and you run out a grounder, you're Pete freakin' Rose. Know what the difference between hitting .250 and .300 is? It's 25 hits. 25 hits in 500 at bats is 50 points. There's 6 months in a season, that's about 25 weeks. That means if you get just one extra flare a week - just one - a gorp... you get a groundball, you get a groundball with eyes... you get a dying quail, just one more dying quail a week... and you're in Yankee Stadium. Thank you, Crash Davis.

I knew that we didn't have any dying quail, but I looked into the freezer. BINGO. Frozen leek & potato soup that I had previously used to make Vichysoisse, and a whole Tupperware container full of chicken livers that I had harvested over the last few weeks. Trust me, save those livers.

I started cooking. Clumsily. I unwrapped the chicken that Elyse bought because I needed its fat. I removed the fat without hurting myself but then chaos ensued. I was almost completely unable to work Saran wrap. Everytime I yanked the Saran wrap, the whole roll came out! damnit. Then, when I finally ripped a piece off it became totally enamored with itself and would not let go. It took me almost 5 minutes to wrap that bird back up. I was not in the zone. Not in the bird wrapping zone.

I hard boiled 2 eggs. Easy enough. I put the frozen leek & potato soup in a saucepan and started melting it. No problemo.

I chopped the onion. I must have that wired because it took like 15 seconds. I tossed the fat in the skillet preheated to medium, along with a little chicken skin for good measure. When the fat melted I added the livers, there were about 4 big ones, and the chopped onion. I sautéed them on high for a minute, then turned the heat down to medium and covered the pan for 10 minutes, just like Jacques had taught me.

Elyse came into the kitchen and picked up Food & Wine. "There's a recipe in here for sautéed chicken with piquillo peppers you know."

"I know, that's for tomorrow night now."

"You're obsessed with those peppers so I thought you'd make it."

"Tomorrow night, no problemo!" I could do anything tomorrow.

"This recipe is by Mario Batalli! It says here that he's from Seattle, no wonder he can't dress himself. Look at these ugly red crocs!"

I cringed, "The recipe isn't by Mario Batalli, its something that a Spanish lady taught him on his new PBS show with Gwenneth Paltrow."

"She can't cook, she just walks around Spain, looking hot and trying to make people not notice him."

There are sometimes conversations like this when I am cooking. I was holding my own tonight. No screw ups for like 10 minutes here. Dinner is going to happen. Toss the arugula with a little olive oil and red wine vinegar. Drain the livers & onion in a collander. After they cooled, cut the livers into pieces.

Elyse was still reading the article. "Mark Bittman is in the show, too."

That was pretty surprising, how many chefs does a show need? "What? I hope he does 101 ways to use Piquillo peppers in under 15 minutes."

"Michael Stipe is in it, too"

"What the hell? Now I have to see that show."

Meanwhile, I turned off the heat on the soup and melted 1 Tb butter into it. Recall, I had added cream to this same base for the Vichysoisse, and served it cold. You can do worse than having frozen leek & potato soup on hand. I put the chopped livers & onions back into the fat that had drained out of the collander. I put the eggs through the egg slicer, twice, so I had little pieces of egg, and I mixed them into the livers & onions. Violá!

I was pretty proud of this one. A salad of liver, onion, & egg along with a bowl of leek & potato soup isn't bad at all. The key is to keep your eyes open for foods that can be saved in the refrigerator for a night like this. Soups are good, just don't add any fat before you freeze them. Freshly melted butter, or fresh cream added at the last minute is a nice touch. Oh yes, the other lesson is, never agree to cook if you just woke up.